Fesshole newsletter: pilot issue #0
A slower version of Fesshole, once a week, with just the best stuff
Welcome to the Fesshole newsletter. The plan is to send it once a week with a round-up of the best confessions. Smash that subscribe button you bunch of shits.
Anyway - the best five tweets this week, we’ll probably run more than five actually but fuck that for a quick demo.
EGGS
Every Friday night for the last 4 years I've secretly thrown an egg on top of my neighbour's roof. He went up to replace a tile yesterday and said the mess up their was unbelievable. There's no reason for this, I think I need help.
DIVORCE
I'm on the verge of divorcing my husband because every time he burps - i.e. frequently - he chuckles to himself and says 'ooh, windy pops'. He is nearing 50. It's fucking embarrassing.
NOODLES
I've written to Unilever to complain that the sachet of soy sauce in a king sized pot noodle is the same size as the sachet in a regular pot noodle.
“BEAUTIFUL CELEBRITY”
I went to primary school with who is now a beautiful celebrity. At the end of school disco I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes! I never saw her again. Whenever I see her on telly I always shout "She's technically still my girlfriend" I'm 42 and married with 3 kids.
PORN
My neighbour hasn't secured their smart TV, so every now and then I'll cast some spectacularly hardcore porn onto it - sometimes I hear a scream from them. No regrets, they have a bloody yappy dog.
Oh and we got a reply from Anneka Rice too. Here’s the tweet that prompted it:
And here’s the reply:
Anyway. Remember you can confess at any time. Trained priests are waiting for your words over on the google form. Confess now. Let it all out.
https://bit.ly/fessholeform
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In the meantime, tell your friends!